Are we the cause of our own misery?

I ask this because, I, Priya Mulji am the biggest living example of this. I am not the only one, so many people I know do the same, I’m not saying it is a negative however one minute we can be on the top of the world and the next completely down in the dumps. It happens. We are women.

So why do we do this to ourselves? we could be having an amazing day, then one awful set of words could be said to us and the day will turn to dust and I, for example, will start listening to sad songs and have a little cry in the work toilets. Why though? Because we let our emotions rule us? Do we secretly like to be ‘miserable’ and seek for someone to ask us how we are?

Also when it comes to love, I have been ‘let down’ multiple people in the past whether it be in love, life, work or with friends.  I’m not sure if I believe that a man can fall in love with me, even when they do show some interest and I to my own surprise believe that I could find happiness at last, I end up completely falling for them instantly rather than taking it easy and if they end up never contacting me after that first date and then I will fall into that hole of self loathing and despair. Even though I tell myself I won’t.

So what happens one day when the perfect man comes along and actually falls in love with us? Will we ruin it for ourselves? Scare the guy off? Instead of just enjoying something and not wondering whether it is going to turn into something great or not. We just fret, despair, sit around in angst and instead we just keep wondering if we will find gold at the end of the rainbow or will we find dust.

So how can this be overcome?

As hard as it is, don’t let negativity bother you. Misery loves company. Whether it is a job rejection, love or money.

Easier said than done I hear you scream?

But think of it this way. You walking around town with a frown isn’t going to attract love. Going to a job interview and feeling down about yourself and questioning your capabilities isn’t going to bag you that dream position. And by feeling negative you’re not going to win the lottery!

SO lets do this together, you, me, your colleague at work lets join and kick away that misery guts person and replace with happy (insert your name) x

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6 thoughts on “Are we the cause of our own misery?

  1. Hi priya, that’s good advice, I wanted to ask wat do I do if most of my friends are negative and make negative comments, lately I’ve found my frnds advise are just too negative and they put me dwn too many times, he’s getting on my nerves, most of my family and frnds r negative, i do find going out on my own helps, Ive come to a conclusion that I need a freind spring clean up, but it’s sad when friends do this, maybe their not supposed to be friends at all, mayb I need to keepmy distance

    1. Hi Zuber

      Funny that you have written this comment.

      My next column for Eastern Eye which comes out on the 16th Sept deal with negative influences in your life. My advice would be to just say goodbye, as hard as it is, you need to deal with the outcome and say bye forever, and welcome new and more positive influences – and then watch how your life changes!

      I should take my own advice really!

      Thanks for being such a great reader again Zuber.

      Much love
      Priya x

  2. Hello,

    I came across your page while googling for something else and I found the post rather interesting and I figured I would share my 2 cents here,

    Life’s been a bit of a rough ride for me so far, but I try not to let it get to me. I try seeing things they way they are. I honestly believe that God doesn’t hand us anything more than we can handle. every problem has a solution .. you just have to find it. I find that concentrating on solving a problem takes away most of the nervousness, fear an anxiety about the outcome. After all, all I can do really is give it my best shot. Whether this be an interview or a date. All I can do is turn up and be on best behaviour and see what happens. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. but instead of worrying about what went wrong, I tend to look at the bright side of things. I recently went out on a first date and let the lady pick the place. She chose a restaurant that I haven’t even heard of. I went there and instantly realized this would probably be the first and the last date with this lady. But the food was amazing and now I am regular at the restaurant. Its not always easy to see the bright side of things, but if you try, you’ll always find one good thing about something you thought had gone horribly wrong. I think its these small victories in life that give us hope to try again. Being a computer super nerd I find it difficult to meet women, who are (for the lack of a better word) ‘compatible’ with someone like me. I am a bit odd and eccentric at times but then that’s just who I am. But I live in the perennial hope that someday I will find what I am looking for. Till then I intend to look back and laugh, and try and see the silver lining in everything.

    Ravi

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