I believe people come in to your life for a reason and my latest post is a great representation of that. This blog isn’t actually written by me but by a friend I have made recently. I met Bina Billimoria through another good friend and I have been so inspired by her words! I think Bina needs to do some motivational speaking. I asked Bina to write a post for me on a subject I know that she feels extremely strongly about and that is valuing yourself and knowing your worth. I’m going to let the blog post do the rest of the talking…

 

“Know your worth and value yourself. It’s that easy….Right?

 

You go on a really good date and he doesn’t contact you again:

 

Was it me? Did I not look good enough? Was I not funny and engaging enough?

Why do we always doubt ourselves? How many times have you been on a date with a guy you didn’t particularly fancy but still doubt your worth when you didn’t hear from him? I know I’ve done it countless times.

 

You start seeing someone; he’s leading, making plans, really into you. Things are going really well and he suddenly calls things off:

 

Your first reaction is WHAT? No way! You start dissecting things, work out what you did wrong, blame yourself for being too clingy or not clingy enough. Maybe I shouldn’t have worn that dress, those shoes, that perfume.

 

Next step; There is no way he can move on, we connected too much, this IS good, we’re meant to be together. I’m going to convince him that he knows this is as good as it gets, keep changing my Whatsapp pic to beautiful pics just in case he’s watching. Tweet, FB indirects, let him know I’m missing him but showing him I don’t care.

Willing him to get in touch. Caving and texting/calling/emailing him only to get no response at worst or a lukewarm response at best.

 

He messages you occasionally, you have the odd booty call, he keeps his toe in the water, giving you that sliver of hope that you desperately cling on to.

 

We have all been there.

 

The truth:

Reality is if he wants you he will call. If he doesn’t call then he doesn’t want you enough. I have seen so many women, including myself,   desperately hold on to the hope that he will come back. That he will realise he will never find anyone like you. That he will KNOW that it was/is too good to give up.

 

But the truth is if he’s already decided he doesn’t want this, NOTHING you do is going to change his mind. If he wants you, he will come back himself. The more you push, the further away he will go. The worse you will feel about him and yourself.

 

Effort is a two way street yes. But don’t give so much of yourself trying to get him that you lose yourself in the process. Know that a real man will know your worth and will not let you walk away easily.

 

There are some amazing men out there, I’m holding out for one of those, one that will put as much effort as I will. One that will recognise and revel in my value, in the way that I do.

 

Love and value yourself before anybody else can. X “

 

I would like to thank Bina for writing this post, you can follow her and her inspiring words on Twitter @BBe3

 

 

Priya Mulji