In the midst of me starting to write a Carrie Bradshaw-esque column for Eastern Eye news paper (yes, the promo there is shameless but as Tinie would say ‘show gratitude with a little bragging too) I appear to have been neglecting by blog so I thought I’d write something about one of the feelings associated with love which has played a rather large part in my life.
Some people are lucky enough to meet someone, fall in love, be loved back and live happily ever after. Some are not. I fall into the latter category. Now I’m not too sad about it right now in my life as I have a lot going and I do believe that everything happens for a reason and for every action there is a reaction. I met someone recently who I went on a few dates with, I’m writing about him on this blog because when I told him about my blogging and column he literally took the piss and seemed rather uninterested (which was probably the first sign). Anyway we went on 2 dates and he had suggested the 3rd date, he then cancelled and said ‘he didn’t know when he was going to be free next’ (a clear blow off) it has now been nearly a week and obviously he isn’t interested as no further contact.
But why do we always start to fall for people who don’t love us back? Ok I am starting to feel sorry for myself but it is a pattern which is beginning to form in my life where I go on a few dates then they decide they don’t like me or just want to be friends. We then start questioning ourselves and debate what is wrong with us, it is a never ending cycle and can end up as a cesspit if we are not careful.
I’m not sure if there is an answer to this or whether I am just ranting about being the victim of an unrequited love situation once again. Yes it was only a few dates but when someone appears keen and you see it going somewhere then they suddenly let you down it is easy to retreat into that corner of your life where tears and wine flow as easily as each other, where your only comfort is Tujhe Bhula Diya from Anjana Anjani and a Bridget Jones diary DVD.
Plenty more fish in the sea people say but what about when you continuously meet people, who you start falling for but they don’t love you back it can be one of the most eternally painful moments and when it continually happens you can be more and more sucked into a vortex of heartbreak.
It has happened to me… a lot. I’m not someone who goes from boyfriend to boyfriend or someone who has men falling at her feet. So when you do meet someone you like then you’re more like to fall faster, harder and stronger.
The only way we can not fall so hard, so quick is to be less emotional, which is way easier said than done, and in my simplistic view is not something I am very good at and I don’t think I will ever be.
But alas, we will always have the dream, the dream of falling in love, that they will love us, we will ride off on a horse into the sunset and live happily ever after.
My Eastern Eye column is out on a Friday – Page 29 x