“When you educate a man it is one person. When you educate a woman it is nurturing the whole family”
How would you react when one of the biggest challenges thrown at you are from your own community? You want to build a name in your field, a field that you are amazing at, but due to an image that has been created just because you are a divorced woman you are attacked.
On International Women’s Day I thought I would share with you a woman of substance who breaks the barriers. Who inspires the world not just with her words but with her actions. I as someone who has experienced her zeal first hand I can see the passion that Tamina Mir has for her work, her people and the world around her.
I crossed paths with Tamina online. I could see immediately she made a difference not just with her smile but with her words. Tamina’s reaction when I told her that I wanted to feature her in my women of substance month was “My first cheer is loud and enthusiastic: High fives for women’s diversity, all types of women in all types of careers! Who perform high-wire balancing acts, juggling work and family”
Tamina. What a lovely name is the first thing that stands out to me. Did you know it means Precious? But it’s not the only or most lovely thing about her. Behind that vivacious smile is someone who single handedly takes on the world and helps other people to do the same.
I wanted to know who Tamina was. We see this energetic and beautiful persona but what was behind the real Tamina? So I started off by asking “Who is Tamina Mir?”
I am so thankful to come from myriad of backgrounds: Kashmiri/East African British Muslim. My personal profile: a real joi de vivre! Big smile and a party attitude!
My Family background comes from strong principles of personal responsibility, individual self-help and having lived in an integrated society and with heaps of experience of life and being well travelled. Believing in caring for all those in your lives, Family, Friends, Community, Neighbourhood… volunteering, social action, and philanthropic approach to life!
My professional background is within the field of project management, HR and in this line of work, I have 8 years experience of using my coaching skills to develop and project teams and staff, as well as the relationships between colleagues. In this field I have also got extensive experience of designing and delivering training programmes.
Where did you start and how did you get to where you are today being that incredibly successful life development coach, consultant, inspirational woman and more!
I worked on fixed term contracts on Project management and so between contracts did some coaching and workshops to meet the gap. Working with challenging personalities, and being full of experience I thought it would be good to do what I was doing as a business. I was always thinking of setting up different enterprises, being asked to help people especially women regarding work, jobs, courses, social services, and used to coach and help women from Domestic violence in my community.
What does your company do?
“Coaching for Individuality”
I offer one-one or group coaching sessions. A variety of workshops for Women, young people and executives who do not want to burden their partners or confidentially at work.
I facilitate Networks, consultations for Black, Ethnic, and Minority Issues. Coach start up Businesses: Sole traders, social enterprises and project management.
What ingredients do you think it is important to have when connecting to people?
Not to be judgemental, warm and flexible nature, think about others’ feelings and experiences. Being open and going with the flow. Question and foster understanding, listen so that you can keep the client on track.
Was there a trigger, it could be a person or situation, that made you decide to pursue the career that you did?
When coming into contact with Educational Guidance Advisers, Student Advisers, Project Management and coaching and supporting Teams I was inspired by these people.
On a voluntary basis, people always come to me for impartial advice and help, I am known for being a fair and non judgemental individual in the community. Giving people confidence to lead the life they want. I went through a nasty divorce and truly felt I wanted to speak to someone from my cultural background who understood some of the issues we face and some not related to me or within my circle of friends. I did some research and could not find anyone. That was my journey and probably the reason behind it. This is partly to blame for my gaps in employment. However, the experience ended up being my greatest asset in the recent past. I was able to self assess and re-discover myself. Despite the emotional and social turbulence that I had to undergo, this left me to be even stronger and I felt it impacted in my personal life and my leadership roles.
How do you feel when you look back at the people you have helped?
I feel so proud of them, to see them when have achieved their change themselves and have a brighter and more positive future.
Has there ever been one person you have ever been really proud of? Someone’s life you have really changed
I am incredibly proud of those who initally don’t know who they are, being accustomed to dominating personalities. This is the best aspect of coaching sessions, raising awareness and how to cope with who you are. I have seen visible change in all my clients, whether it is a small difference or small change.
“Knowing others are wisdom, knowing you is enlightenment. Tao Tzu”
What types of concerns/issues do you help your clients?
Clients bring any concerns: Domestic Violence, cultural issues, young girls not being able to speak to the parents.
Careers: CV and job applications, interview preperation, presentations and confidence building. This may sound easy but many times people will admit that the question they dread the most in an interview is ‘tell us about yourself’? Many wonder how to continue beyond the name, academic and professional qualifications.
About relationships, values, business or career, finance, life/work balance, time management or fears about the present or the future.
What’s the most unusual or outrageous concern you’ve coached someone on?
I had a client, he had made a stipulation in his Will and wanted to be cremated and turned into a firework to go off at his funeral. Family had huge emotional issues with it. I was not sure whether he was being serious? After a couple of sessions, he changed his mind after coming to terms with his life…..
What is your speciality/style? What makes you different from the hundreds of other coaches out there?
I like to use humour, compassion and inspiration to get the client where they want to be. This way the whole process feels effortless and fun for all. Why on earth would you want to struggle anyway?
I don’t impose my personality on the Client… it’s about building a relationship and getting the client to resolve their own options…I have been told that I have a warm, supportive and intuitive style of coaching which enables my clients to get to the bottom of what they need to do and discover the steps, skills and strengths they need to do it.
It therefore requires inborn and acquired skills and a willingness to guide the vision of others without selfish motives but the sake of a greater good.
Do you think there are any celebrities out there who need your help? If so, who? What help do you think they need?
From experience of coaching, everyone needs a confidence booster, and I have assisted a couple of celebrities, some through relationship break ups and going for a huge role. You will be surprised how many entrepreneurs have stage fright…. We all need support at different stages of our life and career.
Are there any aspects of your work that you use in your own life?
Always try to be open and reflect on my own actions, and continuous learning.
In the Asian community, from what I have experienced, people are reluctant to take advice from professionals. Whether it be someone like you, marriage counselling, psychologists etc. how would you explain to someone if you thought they needed to see someone to seek advice and stop suffering in silence?
Previous experience in the Asian community, lack of trust and have seen this in a number of professionals. We need to as a community, never break anyone’s confidentiality that is so pivotal to any role… Medical, health etc
There is a reluctance to pay for coaching. In some Asian families support is quite strong, good friendships. We also tend to follow Family cycle (patterns of behaviour), so do not concentrate on paying for a service.
I sometimes get called an agony aunt and a friend of mine once said I should start ‘brown person life coaching services’ which I think I would be rubbish at but if there was someone who wanted to pursue this field; what advice would you give them and what qualities do you think they should hold?
A lot of people jump on the Life Coaching Bandwagon trend, it about understanding and helping the client move on in their own challenges. Life coaching is not about making simplistic judgments about someone’s life and telling that person how they ought to live it. You bring any concerns you have about your relationships, values, business or career, finance, life/work balance, time management or fears about the present or the future.
Life coach brings training, experience, care, skill and absolute confidentiality to the relationship. Each life coaching session supports a process which enables you to identify changes or improvements you would like to make in your life. Your coach will ask questions, set tasks and help you maintain your focus on the many possibilities, listening non-judgementally as you choose a way forward
First ask yourself:
Do you like people and want to bring out the best in them?
Do your friends, family and colleagues turn to you for have?
Get some feedback from work colleagues.
Do you have natural people skills?
Go on a taster session, if you feel you have the right qualities, get a qualification, do some free business link sessions on how to start a business. Get going!
Did you have to do much training? If so, what did you do?
Counselling Skills, Coaching diploma, Education Degree, and years of coaching project teams.
Significantly, good coaches are never motivated entirely by money. I use this in my work. Sometimes if someone cannot genuinely afford to pay for a session then they can barter something, for example make me some samosas!
The very nature of coaching means that it’s a profession that is centred on ‘making a difference’ and helping people. Focusing mainly on making money generally leads to a lack of concern for the client, with the result that the client exits the relationship, not surprisingly. Happily, coaches who enter the profession chiefly for financial gain leave coaching quickly – which helps to maintain the integrity of the coaching professional reputation.
How do you balance your work and personal life?
Work on daily priorities and everything falls into place. Stay focused and enjoy your life, there is time to work and time out for interests, hobbies and once a week always have a little ME time.
What are your goals and aspirations? What have you yet to achieve?
I would love to do a PHD, set up a coaching centre for children and women and finally write a book.
If you could take me under your wing what changes/improvements could I make in my life to make me into a better person?
I would initially ask you to look at developing a deeper sense of self awareness, connect with your ‘inner-energy’. Keep a diary: identify what you want to build on? Strengths? Areas of development?
Set yourself some goals and an action-based programme where your objectives are established and achieved through our work together.
Priya, you have told me you get jealous easily. When you feel those ‘jealous thoughts are entering your mind take your right index finger and tap on to your inner left wrist. This will help your negative thought to disappear. This is called Anchoring. (Anchors are stimuli that call forth states of mind – thoughts and emotions. For example, touching a knuckle of the left hand could be an anchor)
Also in the morning when you wake up say a mantra to yourself. This could be anything positive so that you have a wonderful day. This will help you to keep positive.
What can we expect from Tamina Mir in the future?
To empower even more! This includes: career change or planning for promotion; adapting to changes within the workplace; coping with redundancy; new business start-up; coping with stress; relationship challenges including break-up, separation and divorce through to helping clients to find love.
Successful networking and continue to be an ambassador of human potential to help raise the consciousness of those I work with, assocaite and live with. For me I am so very proud to be part of a movement that helps people reach their potential and know that my taking part in it affects the forward moving journey to consciousness
Be careful not to slip into “survival mode” or worse yet! Stay there. Decide, seek coaching/help and take immediate action to create a breakthrough in your life. Ask your self what is the cost? Have a think and have a look: http://www.taminamir.co.uk/I would like to thank Tamina for all her time on this interview. It has been truly inspiring to hear her speak and interract with her. What an inspiring woman! Let’s give Tamina a huge, massive, enormous cheer, whoop and toast! Happy International Women’s Day. Tamina – keep us inspired!