‘Bittersweet’ – Sad, but happy at the same time.
I have recently come across someone. A person who smiles, seems happy, a very successful person but lonely on the inside and you can see it in his eyes . Is what we go through in our younger years going to affect what happens when we are older?
This person has nothing to do with my life today but he has made me think back to the years of my teens and how I could have let it affect me today. I have been recently asked how my teenage years were and have been asked to share my experiences with you on my blog and I thought this is one of the things which touches a nerve and have been meaning to blog about it ever since a related blog earlier.If you want to know me I have to start with this and which I am now going to share with you.
I’m no model, I admit, I don’t have the straightest teeth. As I had a phobia of dentists when I was younger I refused to have braces and cannot afford the aligning treatment right now. I have terrible eye sight (-5.5 to be precise) I’m not super clever and I don’t use big words. Am rubbish at maths, don’t understand politics or law but if you know me at all then you know I am honest, I have a heart and I have emotions. Always have and always will and it’s not something I can brush away. I also make fab CD compilations, contact me for one!
The passions and talents I do have I share with you and they are that I love writing this blog, Dancing. Singing (badly), being a good friend, auntie, daughter and sister. I have the best family who have supported me in everything I have done and I am very thankful for that. I also don’t know what I would’ve done without my best friend BG. Music is probably my biggest passion and I will share my musical loves with you later on.
When I was about 14-15 I developed really bad Eczema. I have always suffered from Eczema and it comes and goes in phases today but not as badly as it used to be, I have been left with a few scars on my arms. I guess due to Teenage hormones it spurred out of control at that point. My poor mother tried everything. Wa Wa African cream, whatever was in it kept it in control. Imagine the temper tantrums teenagers throw combined with the distress of Eczema. If anyone has ever had it they will know how I feel, especially having it on your face.
At 15 hormones kick in and you are starting to fancy boys. Being an ugly duckling and being pretty quirky it was a major knock to your self confidence at times being ignored by boys and not having a first kiss in your teens. Imagine you’re 15, there’s this boy or girl you like, you get so nervous around him or her and imagine your skin is so dry and tight that you have to continuously lather yourself in cream; 3-4 times. The itchy, flaky, sore skin that is a constant fret. It doesn’t make you feel young and vivacious but more dehydrated and thirsty. Moreover the friends you have are total hotties. This knock may set you up for how you will be in your later life. Thankfully I have now blossomed into a beautiful swan and it’s not a quarter of what it was anymore and I know I look pretty hot sometimes! Thank genes for my boobs!
Wikipedia definition of Eczema states: “Eczema is a form of dermatitis, or inflammation of the epidermis (the outer layer of the skin). In England, an estimated 5,773,700 or about one in every nine people have been diagnosed with the disease by a clinician at some point in their lives. The term eczema is broadly applied to a range of persistent skin conditions. These include dryness and recurring skin rashes that are characterized by one or more of these symptoms: redness, skin edema (swelling), itching and dryness, crusting, flaking, blistering, cracking, oozing, or bleeding. Areas of temporary skin discoloration may appear and are sometimes due to healed injuries. Scratching open a healing lesion may result in scarring and may enlarge the rash.” (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eczema)
Not many people I know understood the way I felt at the time. Roopa Farooki describes the conditions and feelings of Eczema in her book The Way Things Look To Me where Lila’s character suffers from the skin ailment. I thought it was a perfect depiction of the thoughts that go through your head and what you feel in your heart. I have earlier done a review of on my blog and also described some of my experiences of eczema. Read the review https://priyamulji.wordpress.com/2010/04/22/eczema-half-life-by-roopa-farooki/
I just wanted people to know that sometimes it’s ok to not feel great about you, its natural and no one is perfect.
Going back to my first paragraph. No matter how bad things may seem, there are always people who are worse off than you and I really hope this person finds peace. You may be lonely but all you have to do is reach out. If you don’t have anyone, don’t you worry, because you will always have me.
Finally, I want to share a song with you called ‘Tu Jahaan’ it is sung by Sonu Nigam and is from the Movie Salaam Namaste. Tu Jahaan translates to ‘Wherever you are’ and he is saying to her that he will be there for her always so just remember all you need to do is be positive and know there is always that someone you can reach out with a smile:
For more information on my experiences do not hesitate in contacting me via email on: PriyaMuljiBlog@Hotmail.co.uk
Or take a look at the UK National Eczema Society Website: http://www.eczema.org/
I also do suggest reading The Way Things Look To Me which I referred to earlier in this post by Roopa Farooki.
Aveeno is really good for dry, irritable skin and this is the product I use all over, even on my face: http://www.aveeno.co.uk/products/skin-relief-range/12