So, I’ve been self-isolating at my parents since last Wednesday. That’s over a week now. Yesterday I was supposed to be going to Paris. Today is my birthday. I can’t go and get a coffee, meet friends, my boyfriend, or go for lunch or dinner… please Dominos, stay open, I really want pizza later!
In London, I live with a house mate and my parents are in the Midlands, I usually only spend this much time with my parents over Christmas. I love them but they don’t appear to understand the concept of working from home, social distancing or the fact that I avoid dairy. They are, however, getting better. I’m thankful to be around them and our new puppy Tia the Shih Tzu (follow her Instagram page here). I have a couple of days off and I’m going to now use them to read, write and chill. I plan to do lots of face masks and take many bubble baths. I don’t know when I will be going back to London. But I know I’d rather be here.
With that in mind, I want to discuss something that I am known to write about. Love. When you’re in a fairly new relationship, this is a worrying time. The pandemic that is coronavirus is going to put a major strain on the strongest of relationships.
It’s likely to affect relationships in so many ways and can cause anxiety in so many ways:
- You’re not going to see your other half for a looooooong time if you don’t live together
- You’re going to see tooooo much of your other half if you do live together
- You’re not going to progress in your relationship at the pace you thought
- Your wedding might get postponed
- Priorities are going to change focus and this could lead to frustration in one or the other about the attention that they are getting from their partner
- One person might have too much space and think they are happy being single
These are going to be really testing times and relationships are going to struggle. I want to focus on the couples that aren’t going to be seeing each other, because that is what I can relate to.
We’re going to have to stay at home. It’s simple. We’re going to be tempted to go out and meet our partners but please don’t. This isn’t about you, it’s to stop people getting sick and dying. If the belief in your relationship is strong enough, you can survive any storm.
So, here are some ways that I think you can keep romance alive while being away from each other, who knows how long this is likely to go on for?
Talk. As much as you can. Some people (my boyfriend included) isn’t a phone person. But try to get a balance so that you both are in touch. Text first thing in the morning, lunch and maybe a quick call here and there. If you’re not keen on being on the phone too much, then interact in other ways. Online games are great and we’ve been playing pool against each other on our iPads. I’m okay at pool in real life, but on the online version, my ass is getting whooped.
Make a plan for what you will do when this is all over. Which restaurants you will visit. A holiday you want to take together (I can’t wait to finally go to Paris!). Where you will go on day trips to or movies/series you will watch together. I can’t wait for the new James Bond movie for which we had tickets at Everyman Cinema. It can be anything, just make sure you have something to look forward to.
You’re going to miss each other. This can lead to frustration, anxiety and fear. The fear that you could get dumped, or forgotten, or that your partner might fall out of love with you. I am speaking from experience. Let’s be honest, we’re human and these emotions are pretty normal emotions to experience. There is no magic answer on how to overcome these feelings but the key is to believe. I can be all cliché and say you can get through this but the reality is that it’s going to be hard and you both are going to have to be strong and make an effort. Both of you. If you’re feeling anxious about the relationship, talk, and let your partner know how you’re feeling. Sadly, there isn’t much that we can do in this time but be kind to each other and don’t take your frustrations out on your partner. It’s likely to happen because we tend to take our emotions out on those closest to each other, again, cliché, but true.
Most importantly, make sure your partner knows that they are loved. Tell them every day that you love them. Some people don’t believe it, but I truly believe that love will always find a way of making things better. That in the end, all we have is love.
Rest assured, if you can make it through this time, there isn’t much you can’t get through. So let’s stay strong together. I’m always available on Instagram and Twitter if you need to chat or vent (my DM’s are open) so talk to me and let’s get through this time together.
Stay safe. Stay at home. Love you x