“Don’t be afraid of saying goodbye because chances are that it won’t be the last” Ugly Betty
I got the idea to write this post while watching an Episode of Ugly Betty on 4od called ‘Back in her place’ on a cold Monday night with my electric blanket on, a mug of hot choc, snuggled up in bed with a cold and Sciatica pains. (http://www.channel4.com/programmes/4od)
Having said a fair few goodbyes in my grand old 28 years of life. Goodbye to friends, family, loved ones, teachers, and people I knew at school, college, university, places of work, people I have met on trains, buses and Sainsburys. Giving things away forever like clothes I loved but didn’t fit me anymore which I gave to charity. Some people stay in touch. Some don’t. Social utilities such as Facebook do make it easier to stay in touch with people but it made me think. Do we really need to stay in touch with everyone? Are people even bothered about staying in contact with us?
People move away, drift apart, and fall out. I have one best friend (BG, whom I refer to frequently in my blog posts) and I have a handful of other good friends whose friendship I really value. I sometimes think though, ok yes I have friends but these other random people I know; do they really have any great influence in my life? Yes I do have a lot of other friends who I speak to regularly but how often do I actually see them? Hardly! Do some of them even make an effort to arrange to go for lunch, dinner, coffee? Hardly! Controversial yes and I’m not referring to people I speak to daily or even weekly. BG is the only person who I actually make a point of seeing as often as I can and who does the same for me. Probably because I actually WANT to see her. You ask people, Fancy dinner? And they repeatedly make excuses not to have that elusive chinese so you wonder why you bother even asking?
I keep in touch with people via all these social mediums but when do I actually ever see them? Give them a hug? Have lunch, dinner or coffee with them? Very rarely. Don’t get me wrong I really value their friendship and appreciate people being there for me and god knows they have been there for me whenever I needed them and I really value them for that. But I have my handful of close friends for that. Some people have over 1000 people in their friends list on Facebook but how many of those 1000’s of people do they speak to on a regular basis apart from on Facebook? Not many of them I’d guess.
Is it better to say goodbye to people? Delete their numbers, de-friend on Facebook and stop following them on Twitter?
Have they have been the cause of some pain, anxiety, jealousy, anger or even heartbreak? Maybe it is time we said goodbye to anything or anyone with a negative impact on our lives. It can depend on the individual. I am not a big fan of goodbyes really, because it always seems so dead. Closing the door on something. The end of a book or the end of an era… something you cant go back to. But then sometimes it could hurt more having someone around all the time, seeing them update their status on Facebook, upload new photos etc – isn’t better to delete them from your life?
Do you/did you have a friend who always put you down? Didn’t ever do anything for others? Only did things so it would benefit them? Get angry when things don’t go their way and they way? That person who does not bring any sunshine in your life and whenever you speak to them it’s a strain. Maybe you know such a person? Maybe it is you? Maybe it is me?
It is just something to think about. Maybe action where appropriate. There are a lot of questions in this post. I just guess I have a lot of unanswered questions in my head which don’t have a right or wrong answer…..as they say in Bollywood Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna x