Lockdown loneliness

I’ve been umming and ahhing about posting this for a while, but here goes..

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It seems like we’ve have been in lockdown for a really long time. We’re all feeling the effects of being separated from our loved ones, but as lockdown begins to ease, why has this feeling of loneliness not? I’m happy to go for a walk outdoors in the park, but not to a crowded pub or restaurant, despite seeing that venues are taking great safety precautions. (Can we go to a Spanish beach yet though, all the celebs seem to be in Ibiza!?).

I’ve been keeping myself busy with work and finishing that elusive first novel draft. Last weekend, I met with my friend Urvashi at Bleinham Palace and it was so good to be out in the fresh air. A couple of weeks before, I met up with my bestie Bharti and we had a little hike and picnic in a park. They’re the only non-relatives that i’ve seen since March and i’ve not even been inside anyone else’s house. It was wonderful to see someone different and get fresh air. There’s such a difference between fresh Nottingham and polluted London air, I’ve noticed since moving back home.

I have one friend in my home town and she’s not ready to meet up yet. I get that, and not everyone is ready to venture out, I also get that but why can’t we plan something? Yes, we know there’s going to be a second wave, but lets not make that put our lives on hold.

Right now, I just am expressing that isolated feeling, but also wanting to run away. There’s only so much you can to do keep busy at home. I’m already being creative, going for walks, exercising… If we go out, there’s judgement from those who (rightly so) think we shouldn’t. But, if we don’t do something for ourselves, when will our heads get better?

I just don’t know how to shake the lonely and isolated feeling which has been overwhelming me lately. And it’s getting me down, if I’m honest. When I lived in London, I’d at least once a week meet a friend or go out for lunch with a colleague. Being stuck at home, in the four walls, is hard when you’re a sociable person. I enjoy alone time, but I also enjoy company, conversation, laughter, food.

When will this end? How can we make things better?

Picture credit – theconversation.com

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