It’s been a few weeks since Kamey off of Since Being Single wrote his first post for my blog (read it here), and we had an such an overwhelmingly positive response that part two came quicker than expected, so, once again entirely in his own words hereeeeee’s Kamey!
Michael Jordan’s greatest skill was; listen and then go and do it.
Remember, this a new perspective, a new way of thinking, but you must also take action.
After all, if you’re only listening and not applying, you are ultimately wasting your energy reading this.
You and I, we must learn from the greatest: listen and then go and do it.
Right, let’s not waste any more time and get straight into Part Two.
Q: Why do men make women their last priority?
I was speaking to a guy friend about this:
“I wouldn’t say men make women their last priority, what I would say is that men don’t make women their top priority. Women are somewhere in the middle on the priority scale for a man.”
And I would totally agree with him.
If this is true, let’s modify the question a little: Why do men not make women their top priority?
As a woman, you don’t want to be your mans number one priority because what is intuitive to a man in a relationship is not what is intuitive to a woman.
See, what’s intuitive to women, can be completely foreign to men.
A mans purpose must come before his relationship
If a man (masculine) had to choose one: the perfect intimate relationship or achieving his highest purpose in life, he would choose the latter.
To the masculine, purpose and mission is priority. Period.
As a woman, you are not his top priority in life.
Being your mans ‘number one priority’ is indicative of big problems!
By doing this you are essentially taking him away from his mission.
He will become dependent on you. He will become needy. He will become clingy. He will become less of a man.
Ask yourself: “Do I really want to be in a relationship with another woman? Or do I want to be in a relationship with a MAN?”
As a woman, you really should allow your man to be dedicated to his highest purpose.
(I talk about finding your purpose and creating your one sentence dating destiny plan in Foundations).
You will actually trust and love him more if you are not number one.
But as a woman, you not only want your man to be dedicated to his highest priority, you also want him to love you fully…
You want the full spectrum
And this is something that men are lacking.
For example, sexually and physically in love, how many of you girls would love your man to ‘man-handle’ you, not like, “Let’s have sex now dear” (so gentle and soft) “thank youuuu, good nightttttt.”
Wouldn’t you like your man, sometimes, not all the time, to pick you up and throw you on the bed, rip your clothes off, hold you down and love you?
As a woman, you sometimes want to make love, in pure light, where you’re just connected in pure bliss, sometimes you want to talk and cuddle and sometimes you want your man to really, really ravish you (guys take note).
When was the last time you were really, really ravished?
Ravished so that when it was over, your body was just blown apart in ecstasy by your man, he made your toes curl, you bit your lip in ecstasy and were left breathless.
If the answer is never or not very often, it’s probably why you’re feeling like ‘last priority’ in your relationship.
You might have good sex, 20mins of eh-eh, orgasm, a little kissy-pooh on the cheek and go to sleep.
(Side note: kissy-pooh is not a real word).
You could have that for 15 years and people would ask you “How’s your sex life?” You would reply and say, “Yeah it’s pretty good.”
But without that ravishment, occasionally, rarely even, there’s a part of you that just remains untouched.
That ‘untouched’ part of you is what makes you feel like last priority.
(Is this good for men to know? I hope so).
You know, as a woman, you need to experience the whole scale. The full spectrum.
You need to. It’s a human need. And if you don’t experience it connected with the heart, you need to experience it in some other ways…
50 Shades of Grey
Soap operas, romance novels, love stories are feminine pornography.
It’s why 50 Shades of Grey is such a success!
(I was invited to an early preview of the film last week (not as tasty as the books), but it’s definitely worth checking out!).
It’s the same thing: You get cheating on each other, affairs – the feminine loves that.
If you don’t experience ravishment, you will seek it externally – it’s called external stimulus.
If men just ravished the women they love, whenever it felt right between the two of them, women wouldn’t have the need to perceive pornography.
And that’s the part that we’re lacking in our culture.
Seriously, take him to watch 50 Shades!
Q: Why do men love the thrill of the chase?
This is one of the most common questions I get from girls.
First things first: Everyone likes the feeling of being pursued (masculine and feminine), that feeling of being wanted, that feeling of being chased, that feeling of being special and loved.
This is not about playing games, that’s not what I’m saying.
Men love the thrill, not the chase.
Thrill, adventure, ecstasy
Every moment is totally a new moment (obviously); I mean every moment is just new.
What’s happening right now, and right now, and right now and right now is absolutely unpredictable.
You have no idea what’s about to happen, just like you had no idea when you woke up this morning, just that we have habituated the normalcy, in the same way you’re reading these words, you think it’s normal.
Try and follow me here…
But to an infant, someone who hasn’t habituated, it’s not. To an infant it’s a constant amazement, constant aura, constant enlightenment, constant freshness, that look on an infants face of constant aliveness.
And so overtime we become habituated to mediocrity. And we start living mediocre lives.
Just another day: ‘Go to work, take care of the kids’ and then we hope that we have these kind of break through moments of something.
In such mediocre lives, any little thrill is heightened to the ecstasy level.
Search for release
So what happens is, in our acclamation to habit, we begin to live mediocre lives and we begin to crave non-mediocrity or thrill.
In other words, both men and women are always seeking something.
Right now, you wouldn’t be reading this if you didn’t feel that way.
You wouldn’t have clicked this link unless you thought maybe by reading this article you could get something, learn something, grow in some way.
All of that is a form of seeking. Searching for some ‘betterness’ in your life.
Now there’s nothing wrong with that. We all do that.
The masculine does it in one way and the feminine does it another.
The masculine search is always a search for release. It is a search for release that always ends in freedom.
Men love breakthroughs into freedom and it’s why men pull away from you and the relationship…
Q: Why do men retreat to their caves?
In other words, why do men pull away from you and the relationship?
One word: Freedom.
Football for example…
Football is only setting up a situation where you can feel bounds; line men, people facing each other, trapped with this little ball.
You set up a circumstance but the point is to break through those constraints with this little ball into freedom.
Then you get across the goal line and then “YESSSSS! I’M FREEEEE!” And there’s an ecstatic feeling in that.
It’s all in the name of freedom.
It’s always about feeling bound and then seeking release from feeling bound.
If you have a feminine sexual essence you’re probably thinking, “What the hell are you talking about?” But if you have a masculine sexual essence you know exactly what I’m talking about.
Freedom, it’s blissful
This feeling of bliss.
That feeling of being at the edge. That feeling of knowing you could win or lose at any time. That’s the bliss point.
That sense of ‘being alive because you could be dead at any second.’ Something like that is so ecstatic that going to work or getting a pay-cheque can’t compare.
It is masculine ecstasy.
If you don’t go to football games, you go to paintballing. These are forms of masculine ecstasy because they involve the feeling of breaking out of release into freedom.
You must leave him alone. Let him be. Don’t question him.
However, before you do this, I want you to remember that the point is not to just leave him and let him be.
The point is to give him his freedom whilst still loving him and being open to him.
He still needs your care and love, but give him the space of being a man. After all you wouldn’t like it very much if he weren’t much of a man!
And to wrap up, the key lesson…
While the masculine is always trying to become empty, one thing the feminine is always trying to do is get full.
While the masculine essence likes empty shelves, empty rooms, emptiness, the feminine essence likes fullness.
It’s why women’s wardrobes are full of clothes, handbags and heels. Women like fullness and I think you’d agree with me on that too.
It may also explain why women’s handbags are always so full.
Understand: Men don’t.
Most women out there simply don’t give freedom to their men.
In fact, not only that, most women don’t understand what mistakes they are making on a daily basis that are actually pushing a man further and further away.
Simple: Let him be a man! Look, here’s the thing…
If you want your man to fully commit his attention and time to you, whether that’s in the form of love, time presence, resources or even exclusivity and marriage, you must help him feel like a man rather than constantly stripping that feeling and freedom away from him.
You see, once a man has the gift of feeling like a man, then he’s going to truly come back to the relationship stronger with more to offer you.
Valentines Day 2015 – Foundations
I want to share some BIG news!
I’m sure you’ve already heard about this but I wanted to make sure you didn’t miss out…
(Trust me you are not going to want to miss out on this).
This Valentines Day will be the launch of Foundations.
The biggest step in British Asian dating history.
The Foundations to getting anything you want out of British Asian dating.
Every wants love, but not everybody gets love.
There are no “3 quick secrets” or anything of real value that you can get overnight. That’s what marketers want to sell you.
The real question I asked myself many years ago was, “If there aren’t 3 steps to get whatever you want in love, how many steps really are there? And if you can’t get success overnight, how quickly can you actually make a big change?”
Your success in love hinges upon you finding the answer to these questions.
Foundations is not a get-rich-quick dating scheme, although it can make you richer in love than you’ve ever imagined…
Foundations will not bring you a soul mate or rekindle your love life in 24 hours, but it will raise the quality of people and love you attract…
Foundations will not make you deserved of love overnight, although it will up your entitlement to get what you want…
Foundations will sky rocket your success in anything you want do in love.
This is a commitment and the rewards are BIG!
Sign up free and be the first to know: foundationsindating.com
I want to thank Kamey for all his hard-work which has gone into these posts! You can follow him using the links below: